Author Archives: aguilarrn1

To sleep or to write….that is the question

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Sitting up writing at half past midnight.  I struggle to keep my eyes open, for I am tired.  Despite my better judgment, I resist the urge to sleep.  My novel is nearing 100,000 words and I fear it may hit 120,000 or more before I finish writing the climax and ending.

They say a good publishable manuscript is upwards of 90,000 to 150,000 words. Their reason being that it is far easier to trim and edit, than to add to a finished manuscript.  

Two questions:  Who are “they”?  And, why do I keep using Word Count when it only makes me crazy? 

I’m feeling the pressure to wrap it up.  I long to get to the end, to be able to write those two elusive words–The End.  And yet, I don’t want to rush it.  My story has become somewhat organic, meandering here or there, lingering on a back story now and then; all detours that will surely add to the richness of the characters, lending insight to their motivation.  

Are you sensing a measure of my frustration and self-doubt?  If so, then you my friend, would be correct.  

This is hard work.  I will never again pick up a book and not take a moment to honor the immense investment of time and energy that the author put into its creation. Sometimes the story comes easily.  Other times, it must be pulled out of you like a splinter.  Whether easy or difficult, it involves a huge commitment of time.  Of that, my fellow aspiring writers, you can be sure.      

The challenge is in making time to write.  A full time job, with an hour commute each way and a family to care for, does not leave much time to click away at the old keyboard.  I find myself doubting that I can realistically write a novel on the fringes of my day.  

Take right now for instance.  I know that I should be sleeping, but can’t resist the urge to put to words the story that is swirling about in my head.  As I near the end of this novel, it is as though the characters have sprung to life.  I am stringing bits of flesh to bone, and they now demand that I tell their stories with honesty and integrity.  They linger near me, and at times, consume my every thought.  

I have heard it said that some writers feel as though they go deep within a well of creativity, seeking solitude when writing.  And they need to remind themselves to surface, if only every once in a while, to tend to the real business of life that is happening all around them.

Perhaps I am becoming such a writer.  I’m finding myself annoyed by other’s demands on my time or attention.  I must try to remind myself to give fair attention to the characters in my real life.  For those are the only ones that truly matter.  I love those crazy, colorful characters that are my family, coworkers and friends.

It is now 01:51 AM and I am shutting down the lap top and calling it a night. My character’s stories will again, need to wait; but write them, I will.  

As I climb into bed next to my sleeping husband, I close my eyes to rest and get ready for another day in real life, that is now just a mere four hours away. 

Goodnight all. 

         
Next post:  Talent vs. Discipline ….why one is worthless without the other

Dog Days of Summer aka…Deuce’s big debut

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Sitting on my back deck while sipping a tall glass of sweet tea (nod to you Southern folk), I scratch the fluffy ears of Deuce, our one-year-old Brittany pup.  He sits beside me in the small patch of shade that looms ever larger with the golden setting sun.  Even he feels drained of energy from the scorching white, hot heat of day.
  
“Go play boy,” I nudge him forward with painted toes. 

His puppy tongue hangs long from his mouth, panting; and he looks at me like I must be crazy.  This puppy, that has more energy than twenty dogs does not want to move.  The very pup that runs wild, at a break neck pace in his large back yard, sits unmoving at my side.  He steals a sideways glance at me now and then, as if urging me to hurry the last rays of the sun.
 
“It won’t be long now boy,” I say as I ruffle his ears.
 
We both feel it.  The heated induced energy slump so common these days, these Dog Days of Summer, that is.  It is a time of year marked by inactivity and stagnation.
 
It got me thinking about the term: The Dog Days of Summer.  Ever wonder how it got its name?

At first thought, you might think the term refers to summer days so hot, that even dogs feels too tired to move.  And you’d be right—kind of.
 
The term is commonly used to refer to the hottest time of summer, but it has nothing to do with dogs.
 
The name is actually related to the heliacal rising of Sirius, the Dog Star.  Sirius is the largest and brightest star of the Canis Major constellation. Canis Major is also known as the Big Dog constellation and thus, likely the reason Sirius was named the Dog Star.  Sirius can easily be seen with the naked eye.  It is seen as a large, twinkling star with different changing colors.  

Each year, Canis Major appears in the Northern Hemisphere in early July and remains visible well into September. And coincidently, this also happens to be the hottest time of year.
 
In ancient times, civilizations looked to the skies for the coming of Sirius, the Dog Star. Astrologers used the constellations to mark the changing of the seasons and to navigate the seas.  Egyptians marked the coming Nile River floods with the rise of Sirius, and Ancient Greeks offered sacrifices to the star.  Ancient coins have been found that were engraved with sunrays, stars and dogs, thought to be a sign of significance.  Yes indeed, Sirius the Dog Star had profound meaning for those ancient civilizations. 
 
So, there you have it.  The Dog Days of summer may have originated from a complex astrological past, but have since taken on a more simplistic meaning in our modern times.
 
Me?  I like to think that dogs like Deuce have it all figured out.  Unlike their human counterparts, they have the good sense to lay low in the heat of day, and reserve their energy for the cooler hours.  Like, now.

Brushstrokes of pink and gold paint the western sky, as daylight takes her leave, and bids a fond adieu.  A single raindrop falls upon is puppy nose and instantly, he is alive with electricity.  His ears perk up and muscles tense, and then, his is off. 
  
Off to run and sniff.  To dig in cool wet earth.  To roll upon the wet, green grass.
 
I smile as I look at him and wish I could harness his energy as my own.  And then like any Brittany pup, he is getting into something that he shouldn’t….”Deuce,” I holler, “Let it go, boy.  Get back here.” 

Ah, the Dog Days of summer.  Enjoy em while they last.     

Searching for story ideas? aka… Proceed with caution when someone you know is a writer

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Well, I am back.  I promised you this post over a week ago, but like you, I’ve had a thing or…twenty to do.  Enough said.  Let’s get back to the business of writing. 
So, you want to write a short story or a novel but you can’t come up with a good story idea and you are looking for some advice.  My advice?  Stop talking, open your eyes and look around you.  
Unless you are dead, you are being presented with potential story ideas each and every day.  And since you are reading this, I will assume that you are alive and kicking.  So let me tell you what little I know about coming up with interesting story ideas. 
Let’s start with you.  You have a story in you simply by the fact that you survived adolescence.  Think about it, but take care to observe for oncoming signs and symptoms of PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder).  Seriously, do you remember how cruel junior high and middle school kids can be?  Wished I didn’t, but I sure do. 
Throughout adolescence you likely experienced the gambit of emotions; love, joy, envy, and let’s not forget about fear.  Like I said, those middle school terrorists can be downright vicious.  Take a moment and recall the mean girl clique or bully who made it their mission to make you miserable.  Now think back to the dreamy eyed stud who was just a boy, but still made your knees weak at the sight of him.  All those experiences are great potential stories about coming of age and overcoming adversity. 
I hesitate to say this, but the more challenging your childhood, the more likely it is that you have a strong story just waiting to be put to ink & paper.  They say what does not kill you, makes you stronger.  Well, I guess it can also make you a writer. 
Let’s not forget first loves and their ugly stepsisters—broken hearts.  They certainly make for great stories.  Readers from all walks of life can easily relate to the emotional rollercoaster of young love and the heartbreak that inevitably accompanies it.     
Fast forward to now.  Think about the challenging coworker who seems to have zero emotional intelligence, fouling his fellow coworkers, possibly even you, in the game of office politics.  Ever wonder what happened to him in his formative years that resulted in his current behavior and total lack of personal insight?  Story
Then there is your boss.  Mine is great, but I am one of the lucky ones.  Perhaps you have one like the character played by Merle Streep in the movie the Devil Wears Prada.  A former editor of one of the major fashion magazines inspired that amenable character.  That’s sarcasm hard at work for those of you who have not seen the movie.  Yes, the workplace is ripe with potential story ideas. 
Travel locally or abroad, is an excellent means of finding exciting new story ideas.  A vacation or even a weekend getaway, is a great way to fill your well of creativity.  There is just something about getting away from your regular routine and surroundings that seems to ruffle the diaphanous wings of the muses.

Too busy to travel?  How about your relative who is well traveled and entertains you with tales of her experiences while tripping across the globe?  Stories

People are interesting.  Especially, people with interesting dialects, quirks or customs that are found in states or countries other than your own.  

However, when it comes to people watching, there is no need to travel far.  Just sit on a bench at your local park.  It won’t be long until some interesting person comes by or something happens that peaks your interest and gets you wondering.  You might see lovers, young or old, holding hands or sharing a tender embrace.  What has happened, or is happening in their relationship?  A pretty, young jogger stops briefly to check her heart rate then runs along on an isolated trailhead.   Is she in danger?  Stories

The mention of parks, reminds me of kids.  Kids are mini experts of fantasy and make believe. Just spend some time engaging with young children and you will surely be entertained by clever stories and role play that flows from their limitless imaginations.  Kids can certainly teach us a thing or two about tapping into the right side of the ol grey matter, where our creative abilities reside.

Your parents and grandparents have likely experienced challenges that you could only ever imagine.  Many of our parents lived in homes that lacked the modern conveniences that we routinely take for granted.  Depending on their age, they may have even lived through the Great Depression and can remember gas and sugar rationing.  Perhaps they spent their evenings, sitting by the family radio and listened for updates on the war effort, not knowing the fate of their loved ones fighting abroad.  Do your parents have such stories?  You’ll never know if you don’t ask.   
In those years, it wasn’t acceptable to speak openly about abuse or neglect suffered as a child.  People actually gave their children to others if they were struggling to provide them with food and shelter.  Yes, their lives were very different from our own.    
Consider chronicling your parent’s lives for a work of non-fiction.  If nothing else, you will have a priceless record of their key life events to share with your children and grandchildren.  Ask yourself if you are willing to lose their stories with their passing?  
  
Tragic life events also provide intriguing and dramatic storylines.  Tragic events are like car crashes, that we just cannot seem to look away from.  There is something about human suffering that is so relatable to readers and audiences alike.  Look no further than your evening news to see what storylines attract the highest viewership of large television networks.  It sure isn’t the lighthearted fluff stories.  Like it or not, tragedy may even be more of a temptress than love.  Tragedy is the siren that beckons from the shore, luring you in—leading you to certain destruction.  You never feel good after watching or reading about a tragic event.  What is perhaps even more baffling, is that you know that up front; and still, you tune in or read on with curious abandon.       
Life events and personal relationships offer compelling stories of loss, grief and perseverance against seemingly insurmountable odds.  Who doesn’t know someone addicted to drugs, a teen mother, a cancer survivor, recent divorcee or person dealing with the loss of loved one?   Stories
Animals are today, so much more than mans furry best friends.  They are considered as family members, and deservedly so.  Their unconditional love and unwavering friendship is their gift to us.  They greet us with pure joy when we return home from work.  They may try our patience at times, but they also make us laugh.  They sit by our sides when we are sad, not knowing the reason for our sadness but feeling our pain as intensely as their own.  Animal stories never cease to satisfy. 
Dreams are excellent for inspiring creative story ideas.  A mind unencumbered by conscious thought is free to explore all realms of possibilities.  Just ask Stephenie Meyer of the Twilight series.  The first book of that series was inspired by a vivid dream that Ms. Meyer had one night.  At the urging of her sister, she wrote about that dream while it was still fresh in memory.   That dream became a scene in the middle of the book.  She then wrote the beginning and the ending of what would become a best seller and iconic movie of our time.  So the next time you have a particularly interesting dream—think story.  And don’t disregard those erotic dreams, that genre is blowing up right now like a fat man at a buffet.
These are but a few potential suggestions to consider for story ideas.   I’d be willing to bet, that by now, your creative juices are flowing freely and you have thought of many others.  Like I said, look no further than your family, coworkers and friends for interesting and hopefully, marketable story ideas.
A light note of caution…. a wise person once said, take care if you have a friend or family member who is a writer.  One day, not too long from now, you may be curled up with latte and a copy of their book and come across a scene that seems all too familiar. 
If that happens, don’t freak out and spill your latte, just take a deep breath and remind yourself—it is only fiction. 
Your task:  Practice being observant of strangers and people you know.  Keep a small notebook handy to jot down potential story ideas or record a voice memo on your smartphone.  These tools work like the pocket-sized sketchbooks that some artists carry around to capture images to use later on as inspiration for their art masterpiece.  The inspiration you’ve been searching for to write your best seller is all around you, so pay attention.     
Next post:  Talent and discipline.  Why one is worthless without the other. 

THE POWER OF WORDS aka: Lessons from Auschwitz

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THE POWER OF WORDS

I had planned on writing from DC, but instead played the dutiful role of tourist, complete with bad photos and swollen, sore feet.  I had to do it—Washington is so rich in history, that you just have to go see the monuments and the little white house on 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

While in Washington DC, I also had the opportunity to visit the National Holocaust Museum.  Although it was a rather disturbing exhibit, I am thankful for the experience and highly recommend it to anyone visiting DC. 

Walking through the three-story exhibit, a single recurring thought ran through my mind:  Words have Power. 

There were a couple of brief film documentaries and actual footage of news broadcasts of the time that played repeatedly as one strolled through the exhibits.  In the news broadcasts, a young, confident Hitler could be seen addressing the masses.  He was clearly a skilled public speaker.  Newspaper headlines from across the globe, chronicled the abhorrent events as they unfolded before the disbelieving eyes of average citizens.  I saw an old Continental typewriter used by Pastor Martin Niemoller who initially supported the Nazi regime, but later spoke out against Adolf Hitler.  He used that typewriter to write and publish anti-Nazi communication in a public campaign against Hitler until he was arrested in 1937.   All are evidence of the power of words.
    
In a relatively short span of time, what was at first, nothing more than Nazi propaganda, was allowed to grow into a national campaign of terror that resulted in Hitler’s attempt to annihilate an entire group of people.

I say allowed to grow, because Hitler’s Nazi propaganda was poorly received in the beginning.  The vast majority of Germans saw it as nothing more than an extremist view of the few.  Hitler initially had few followers but he had one thing in his favor—fear. 
  
Just as American citizens were suffering from the financial devastation of the Great Depression that was triggered by the collapse of the stock market; so too, were the Germans.  In fact, many nations struggled with joblessness and extremes of poverty.  Like our ancestors, the German people stood in soup kitchen lines and watched as their children and elderly died of starvation.  The people of Germany were hungry.  Hungry for hope.   Hungry for leadership that could restore the Germany they had come to know and to love.  The Great Depression afforded Hitler the political platform that he needed to aggressively pursue his agenda.  
    
A sequence of political events would later unfold that would place Hitler in the position to lead the nation.  I am certainly no historian, but here is a brief overview of a few of the key events.
 
Hitler ran against President Hindenburg twice but was unsuccessful on both attempts.  Later, a couple of influential politicians and several wealthy industrialists and businessmen urged President Hindenburg to appoint Hitler as Chancellor.  This leadership position would be independent of the parliamentary parties and thought to be well received by the German people.  Hitler was a charismatic leader with superb oratory skill.  He gained many political allies while in serving as Chancellor.  Shortly afterwards in 1934, President Hindenburg died and Hitler became the head of state; thus gaining full control of the legislative and executive branches of the government.  Hitler and his political allies wasted no time in suppressing the remaining political opposition and his reign of terror was unleashed.
 
As I toured the exhibit, I could not help but to think that there had to have been many good Germans who detested the actions of their leader.  Surely they had to have questioned his sanity as he attempted to systematically annihilate millions of Jewish people.  


Was their leader was a sociopath, incapable of discerning right from wrong?  Or was he calculated and deliberative; fully aware of the power held within mere words when targeted at people who were thirsting for change?   Is it possible that the citizens of Germany were unwilling participants who stood back in fear of their leader, fully regretting they had chosen to first believe in his message of hope for the return of a strong Germany?
 
Hitler knew about the power of words and of knowledge.  He ordered the confiscation and burning of books authored by Jews and by anyone opposing the Nazi regime.   Among these were books by Sigmund Freud and Albert Einstein.  Jewish children were dismissed from schools, prohibited from learning.  He bombarded the German people with political propaganda which capitalized upon the rampant anti-semitism of the time, and included messages alleging the Jewish people as the cause of the poverty and suffering experienced in Germany at the time.  Yes, Hitler knew about the power of words.
   
Words are powerful.  Especially when spoken with confidence by a charismatic leader, repeated multiple times and aimed at a group of people who are suffering and wanting of meaningful change.  Think about our own willingness to consider the political promises of our leaders today.  We are bombarded with the well-chosen speeches and sound bites from politicians running for office ithis election year; in addition to those who use them to further their own personal agendas. Aren’t our politicians trying to capitalize on the effects of the 2008 recession and the country’s slow return to financial stability?  In fact, haven’t we seen fear tactics used as a means to instill a sense of urgency?  Should we even try to return to the self-centered, free-for-all level of capitalism that resulted in our recession? Their manipulation is deliberative.  They know the value of saying key words at key times, and repeating those words over and over again.  They believe that if YOU hear their messages enough, YOU will begin to believe what they are saying.  Further, it becomes increasingly hard to distinguish facts from opinion because the media is also complicit in their attempts to manipulate us with carefully crafted messaging.  
 
My advice, take care to use good critical thinking when considering the messages you might hear this election year.  Question the source and the messenger.  What is their motive or objective?  Are they reasonably able to deliver upon what they are telling you?  Whose agenda are they promoting? Who will really stand to benefit from what they hope to accomplish.  You? —Not likely.   And remember to consider the greater good.  Nothing good will come when we refuse to acknowledge the needs of the many vs. the wants of the few. 
  
Words have power.  They have the power to build up or to destroy.
  
There are no more powerful words than those spoken by a parent to a child.  Those words create the mental scripts that will either instill self-confidence in children or serve as barriers to their success.  Remember, people tend to believe what is said to them when said repeatedly, and at emotionally charged times that they likely not forget.  So choose your words wisely, because words are capable of having long lasting, perhaps even permanent effects.  Choose words that help to build a person up.  Words that give them hope for their future and confidence in their own abilities to achieve the goals that they desire. For there is power in mere words—history has proven this time and time again. 
 
One needs only to walk through a wooden railcar that was used to transport Jews to Auschwitz, see the piles of thousands of soot covered shoes, bags filled with human hair or to look upon a rusted gas chamber door through which millions entered to their deaths—to realize the power of words.  

Please pay your respects and visit the National Holocaust Museum should you ever get the opportunity to do so.

Next post will be back to the business of writing….I promise.     
  

Sweetest Time of Year…The Summer Solstice

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Yay!  The Summer Solstice has arrived, and with it comes an abundance of sunshine to warm and light long days filled with summertime activities.   You felt it today.  Something special hung in the air.  A feeling of hopefulness for what might await you over the summer months ahead.    


So, what is the Summer Solstice?


Disclaimer:  I am definitely not a scientist, that stuff boggles my mind; but I will take a crack at explaining what little I know about it.  


It has to do with the plane of our solar system and the tilt of the north-south axis of the earth.  At certain times of the year, the tilt allows more direct sunlight to reach a specific part of the earth. Interestingly, at the time of the Summer Solstice, the sun is furthest away from the earth but the tilt allows us the most access to sunlight.  Weird, huh?


The Summer Solstice is typically recognized as occurring each year on June 21st.  However, it varies from the 20th and 21st.  In Roman times it was celebrated on June 24th.  This year, it occurred today at 5:09 PM MST.  At noon today, the sun would have appeared to be directly overhead and might have appeared to stand completely still.  The name is derived from the Latin words sol (sun) and sistere (stand still) for that very reason.


Whereas today was the Summer Solstice for the Northern Hemisphere, it was likewise the Winter Solstice in the Southern Hemisphere.  Our Winter Solstice will occur on or about December 21st.
When the sun makes a full circuit, a year of time has elapsed.


Today was the longest day of the year and the first official day of summer.   I hate to break it to you, but after today, the days will begin to shorten.  My husband says that I have a glass-half-empty mentality because each year, I feel a twinge of melancholy at the coming of the Summer Solstice. Yes, I know that we have an abundance of heat and sunshine ahead, but there is something about just knowing that we’ve begun the slow slide to the dark days of winter that makes me somewhat sad. But enough of that.  


In Pagan times, this time of year was called the Midsummers day and the celebration pre-dates Christianity.  The name is somewhat confusing and is all together incorrect, as it is actually the very first day of the summer season.


The Summer Solstice is characterized as a time of fertility, of dancing and of festivities.  Midsummer-Pagan traditions involved the wearing of garlands and crowns made of flowering summer plants, such as Calendula and St. John’s Wort, that were believed to have magical healing properties.  Interestingly, St. John’s Wort is still used today to treat depression.  In Christian times, Midsummers day was a celebration of the birth of John the Baptist.  Hmm, coincidence?


The garlands and crowns of flowers were believed to chase away the evil spirits that roamed freely on this night.  For it is a time of year, that the veil between the worlds thins, allowing spirits and fairies to frolic about.  Pagan couples built ritual bonfires and jumped over the flames for good luck in marriage, fertility and health.   The days festivities were also believed to bless the coming fall harvest in it’s bounty.


Well, that’s about all I know.  I hope you all enjoyed the Summer Solstice and soaked in more than your fair share of sunshine; because tomorrow the slow but inevitable slide to winter will begin.  I know, I know–glass-half-empty mentality.  Got it.  Note to self:  Try to be more positive.          


Anyway, enjoy your first few days of Summer because the Dog Days will soon be here ushering in sweltering temperatures right before fall harvest, and then you know what comes next…


Hey, I didn’t say it.  

Later this week…

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Hi all,

Later this week, I will be blogging from our nation’s capital and we will get back to the business of writing. 

Next post:  Can’t come up with a story idea?  aka.  Look no further than your family, coworkers & friends

You might see something later tonight regarding our celestial event that will occur at 5:09 PM MST–the Summer Solstice.  I just might not be able to resist…

On Fatherhood…

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Another Fathers Day has come and gone, with its camping, BBQs, ballgames and dinners out.  Hopefully all deserving fathers out there were able to enjoy a day of rest and relaxation.  More importantly, is if they felt valued and recognized for the heavy burden of responsibility they carry upon broad shoulders each and every day. 

It is easy to recognize the value of the mother, with her swollen belly, that is full with life.  The infant suckling at her breast, the teenage girl lamenting over a broken heart, her mother stroking her hair and telling her that everything will be okay.  We’ve all heard the jokes about dad having the easy role in creating a child; but the conception and birth of a child is only the beginning of their long journey to adulthood.   

WHAT IS THE VALUE OF A FATHER?  One needs only to sit on a park bench at a playground to witness the importance of a father in a young child’s life. 

“Daddy, daddy,” she calls from the swing, “look at me.  Daddy look at me.”  
“Daddy, look what I made,” calls the small boy playing in the sand. 

Children yearn to be seen and validated by their fathers.  They feel safe when their fathers are in the home, just down the hall, ready to protect them.

With fatherhood, comes a lifetime of responsibility that goes far beyond that of providing food, shelter and security.  Somewhere along the way, fathers must find the time to connect with each of their children on an individual basis. 

DAUGHTERS:  A daughter needs to feel loved and important in the eyes of the most important man in her young life, her father.  It is his love for her, his faith in her abilities beyond her superficial beauty that will help her to move forward with grace and confidence.  She will learn to rely on her own resources and not be dependent upon a man for her self worth.  Then someday, she will be able to identify the responsible, honest, and good young man that will come along to sweep her off her feet.  And while her father will then take on a lessor role, he’ll always be a significant male presence in her life.  For he is the man that she will forever compare all men against.

When a daughter doesn’t feel important in the eyes of her father, she will subconsciously seek out male attention and will find it difficult to identify men who do not have her best interest at heart.  A father’s validation of his daughter, or lack thereof, will shape all of her future relationships with men.  Good or bad.  Because after all, she’ll forever be daddy’s little girl; and if that girl was cast aside or ignored by her father, she will slip comfortably back into that vulnerable role. 


The girl who knows that her father has her back will not tolerate mistreatment.  She will see the red flags and get out of the toxic relationship.  Why?  Because her daddy told her that she deserved to be treated with love and respect. 

SONS:  When it comes to a young man, a father is even more important.  Only he can imbue a sense of manhood to his son.  There are certainly many single women who have successfully raised fine young men; but hopefully, somewhere along the way, their sons got the opportunity to interact with strong male role models.  For it is they, who can show those young man what it means to be a man.  It is the scripting that young men hear along the way, that provide them with the tools to become strong men and fathers themselves someday.  It simply isn’t the same coming from their mother.   

It has been said, that a man either reflects or rejects his own father. 

If his father was more often than not, a good role model, he will reflect the good and build upon it to enjoy even greater success as a father.

But, if his father was absent from the home, uninvolved or worse, a monster of a man, he will likely do everything in his power not to follow in his father’s footsteps.
It is incredibly hard for a man to become a good father if he did not have a good role model from whom to learn from during his formative years.  It can be done, but he’ll likely make many more mistakes along the way. 


So take it easy on dear old dad.  I mean, isn’t it fair to say, that perhaps he did the best he could with the knowledge he had at the time?  Take a moment and consider that possibility.    

Perhaps it is time to stop blaming our fathers for what we did or did not receive as children.  They likely did not have the ideal role models to learn from and thus, fumbled a time or two while trying to learn the ropes. 


Give the guy a break already and worry about yourself.  If you are a parent, you are surely making your own mistakes; and rest assure that someday your kids will let you know just that.    

I am thrilled to say that my eldest son will soon join the ranks of fatherhood and I am confident that he is ready for it.  He has accepted the charge with eyes wide open, and is ready to shoulder the enormity of the task at hand.  He will be a fine father, of that, I am sure. 

For he was one of the lucky ones, he was fortunate to be able to learn the ins and outs of fatherhood from a solid male role model–his own father.  My son will surely steer clear of the mistakes his father made; but will also, strive to do all of the great things his father did that helped to shape the man he is today. 


Someday soon, he’ll hold his newborn daughter in his arms and feel overwhelmed with a love that is incomparable. And while his new baby may be sleeping soundly in her mother’s loving arms; he’ll be standing nearby, ready to do what is needed. 


For he took the time to read the fine print, and is willing and ready to hold up his end of the Fatherhood contract—like any man of integrity would surely do. 

Happy Fathers Day…rest assure that we wives, mothers and daughters fully recognize your value as a father.  

Remembering RAGNAR…Lessons learned across 198 miles of asphalt and dirt

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First off, let me tell you that if you ever get the chance to run a RAGNAR relay series—take it.  We don’t often get the opportunity to challenge our physical and mental limits.  Running a long race like this one, is a good metaphor for life.  You’ll have your share of good times filled with joy and laughter, bad times that will strip away your ego and break you down, remind you that you are a mere mortal human.  At times you will need to rely solely on yourself and find a way to dig deep and garner the courage to go on, other times you’ll be surprised that what got you through was the kindness and support of others.  Trust me when I say that it is well worth the cost of a hundred bucks, a weekend of your time and a few blackened toenails.   Following are a few hard earned lessons learned along the road to finishing RAGNAR.
YOUTH RULES:  Anyone who still in their teens or twenties please pay close attention to the following:  You have a golden opportunity to push yourself to your physical limits.  Do not let it pass you by.  Your physical performance will begin to diminish significantly decade by decade from age thirty forward.   
Our team of twelve was divided with six runners to a van and Van #1 runners were much younger than those in Van #2.  Their ages ranged from as young as twelve to thirty seven, and their oldest was a seasoned runner.   Van #2 consisted of runners between the ages of thirty four and forty nine.  I, of course, was in Van #2 and might add that I was the weakest link of our group. 
Nothing like being at the bottom to humble a person—right? 
It was quickly apparent that the younger runners covered those long distances with much greater ease and faster mileage.  They easily ran 7 – 8 minute miles and were crucial to our overall team’s performance.  They had the responsibility to shave off time resulting from us slower Van #2 runners.  Our little 12 year old runner was fast as a jack rabbit and ran with only two weeks training.  Young people simply do better.  They are typically leaner and much more fit than those of us in our thirties, forties and beyond.  They are also much more resilient and can recover much more quickly from injuries acquired along the road.   
Now don’t get me wrong here, that is not to say that an older athlete cannot perform as well as someone much younger.  At 38, Craig Alexander is the oldest overall winner of the Ford Ironman World Championship; yet even he, has spoken openly about knowing that he’d be hard pressed to accomplish that feat again.  There are simply too many elite athletes like him, who have the advantage of youth on their side.  Those athletes know that they are inside of that golden window of opportunity—just like you.  So if you’re under thirty get on with your bad self and get running.  But if you’re like me, and well past your prime, run anyway.  Just don’t try to compare yourself to the sleek cheetah who is passing on your right, and leaving you for road kill in her dust. 
DIG DEEP TO OVERCOME DOUBT:   As I said above, this is a challenging race and let me tell you why.  Unlike other running events, for which you get up in the morning, run your event and then go home, to say—make lunch or mow your lawn, RAGNAR lasts for two days time.  So after you run your first of three legs, your body begins to stiffen up and get sore.  This is right about the time you’d typically be planning to down some Ibuprofen, soak in a hot tub and maybe have a cold beer or glass of wine.  Nope, no can do buddy.

With RAGNAR, this is exactly when you’d need to soldier up and get back out there and run again.  RAGNAR is physically and mentally exhausting because you run intermittently over 36+ hours, with little or no sleep. 

Make no mistake, RAGNAR will challenge you and may even bring you to your breaking point. 
The elevation is another factor.  Many of the running legs involve steep climbs whether on asphalt or gravel trails.  My 2nd leg was only 3.6 miles from East Canyon Campground.  It was only considered to be of “moderate” difficulty.  I say, Bull*@#!   I ran this one at 1:38 AM, yes, in the middle of the night and without sleep.  Yep, it was just me and my headlamp.  Worse, it climbed 500 ft in elevation over those short 3.6 miles.  Not a single runner passed me who didn’t complain that the hills were kicking their butt.  And me, well I was talking to God, baby.  Literally, asking God to get me through that run. 
I had to find a scrap of courage and dig deep to keep up a descent pace so as not to let my team down.   Many times, I heard myself saying, “I can’t do this.” 
This is when three things happen.  First, you pray—earnestly, begging God to help you.  Second, you kick yourself in the ass for not having taken your training seriously.  Third, you rely on the hard times that you, or a loved one has faced in the past and you use that to stop feeling sorry for yourself and dig deep, keep moving.  I did all of the above. 
And let me add, that I forgot my iPod, so all I could hear was my own ragged breathing,  and the intermittent padding of footsteps behind me, coming up to pass me from the rear.  It was quite an experience, running under a blanket of stars.  In the end, I left the weight of doubt and fear on that mountain, gained a little self respect and a new perspective on my life.   
FOOD IS NOT THE ENEMY:  I will try to keep this one brief.  It is no secret that I have struggled with my weight.  I’ve tried countless diets, only to lose and gain the same pounds over and over the past twenty five years.  The only time I have been successful, is when I viewed food as fuel.  This weekend was a reminder of just that. 
Food is so not your enemy. 
In an event like the RAGNAR, you learn quickly that it is impossible to push your body to such extremes without properly fueling it with food.  You forget about good carbs, bad carbs, and all that other nonsense we dieters tend to fixate on, and use as excuses to eat poorly.  We say that it gets so confusing, all the calorie counting and measuring of portion sizes.   
When running, carbs are king; with protein being the faithful prince, ready to step up to the challenge should the king be nowhere to be found. 
 RAGNAR and races like it, remind you that food is energy; it is nourishing and life giving.  It is second only to water for maintaining bodily function.   And without it, you might as well just sit home on the couch, because you’ll only have the energy to press the buttons on the remote control to your TV.   
So the next time, you sit down to eat, think of what is on your plate as being fuel for your body.  If you haven’t done much, your tank is probably not that empty.  We wouldn’t keep pumping gas into an overfull tank, but that is exactly what we, or should I say I, do every time I overeat without being in need of fuel.   I think I am going to try and take my own good advice. 
SIZE DOES MATTER:  Since we’re on the subject of food, let me say that size does matter.  It appears to be much easier to run when you weigh less.  Running is physiologically hard on the joints, and the more weight you carry, the more strain you place on your aching, aging joints.  I watched the runners who passed me, and believe me; a whole lot of runners passed this slow gal over the course of those two days.  The lean runners seemed to move effortlessly.  Yes, they were likely well trained, seasoned runners but I can’t help thinking their size contributed to their running performance. 
While leaner is certainly better when it comes to running, do not discount the heavier, larger runners who participated over the weekend.  They were incredible as well.  I saw people out there running, that if you saw them in a movie theater, you might make the erroneous assumption and think that they were unfit or perhaps even lazy.  No, ma’am.  They were clearly well trained and had outstanding cardiovascular endurance.     
As for me, well, I am going to try and drop a few, or a lot of pounds before taking on such a challenge in the future.  I can’t do anything about my age, but my weight and training are completely within my ability to improve upon.    
POWER OF PLANNING:    One of the single most importantly lessons I learned was the power of planning—more specifically, or training.  I did not train well for this race and it showed, big time.  You cannot just go outside and go for a run once in a while, as a means of training for a race like RAGNAR.   If you know someone who is putting a team together to run RAGNAR in 2013 and you’d like to join them, then start training now and be consistent.  It is the only way to build up the endurance you will need when facing the distance and climbs that await you on the Wasatch Back. 
Another area where proper planning was of importance was in our race day supplies.  We had a whole arsenal of high energy foods, bars and drinks.  There was plenty on hand to keep everyone well hydrated and ready to run.  We even had what we called our senior citizen bag full with muscle rub, ice packs, Ibuprofen and the like.  Yes, planning was key to our success. 
I just wished that I had planned to get my butt out on the road much more often than I did.  
SWEET SUPPORT:  With RAGNAR, you learn quickly about the power of the team.  You find out that your team has your best interest at heart and that they will step in and help you when you need it, even when you don’t want or think you need their help.  I found that out early on, in my first leg of the event. 
I wanted my team to drive ahead the first four miles and not wait for me along the road.  This was mostly because I was so embarrassed at my poor level of ability and lack of preparation.  The temperatures were searing hot on Saturday, and I was much relieved to find them waiting for me at the 2 mile marker.  I was grateful for their cheers and encouragement, in equal measure to the ice cold bottle of water they held out for me.  Yes, support is a sweet thing to have when pushing yourself to such an extreme. 
Speaking of support, unless your next race is only a 5K, you are going to need to have a supportive spouse and family to be able to put in the training time necessary to do well in a longer race.  So, thank them profusely the next time you leave them eating cold cereal on a lazy Sunday morning when you head out for your long run of the week. 
SEEK EXPERIENCES OVER THINGS:   On a final note, running RAGNAR was a great experience and I am grateful that I got the opportunity to participate when I was clearly not a strong addition to the team.  I learned a lot about myself along the road on those two days.   One thing I know for sure is that I will never forget the experience. 
To me, experiences are much more valuable than things.  Things lose their value and sparkle after we acquire them.  Think of the new shoes, car or house that you wanted so badly and finally bought; after a while, perhaps even now, it doesn’t seem to have the same appeal to you.  It just doesn’t seem as important or special.   Now think about the great vacation that you went on, or your wedding or graduation.  When you recall those events, they seem almost as splendid as when you first experienced them.  They are vividly recalled in your memory and you may even feel joy on a physical level, simply by recalling those special experiences. 
My advice (retirement planning aside), spend your money on experiences rather than on material things.  You’ll get more of a return on your investment.  Experiences gain in equity; things only depreciate and gather dust. 
And let’s be honest, who enjoys dusting?