Searching for signs.. Synchronicity
Visited the Oasis Cafe and Golden Braid bookstore. Energized by the psychic energy in that store.
Drove past Nostalgia coffee shop
~all places featured in my novel
Journal Entry: September 12th
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Journal Entry: September 11th
And so today, I write in this journal. I write all the things that I am holding back from others.
My fears and doubts.
Perhaps I should share my fears with others on my blog, to do so, will tell the true journey that I am undertaking.
I know that I want this more than anything I have wanted in a long, long time–perhaps, ever.
It pulls me forward and i go willingly, towards my purpose in being.
I am not a quitter. I will do this.
Journal Entry: September 10th
This journey of becoming a writer is on virgin soil, unexplored by me or by anyone I know. I don’t know the way, or what I must do to get there.
What do I know?
I know, deep down in my soul that I am meant to write. I don’t know how I know this, but I do. All the signs are there, they always have been there, since the early days of my youth.
I will find my way. Just like I did twenty five years ago, when I chose to ignore my true calling, choosing instead to seek security.
I did not know how to begin my journey to Nursing, but I got there. I was an outstanding nurse and the profession has served me well. Nursing is a noble profession and I hope that I have given it something of value in return.
But what a person does, and may even love, may not be their true calling.
The universe has been trying to tell me for quite some time that I was put on this earth to write, and it is ratcheting up my uneasiness, pushing me to take action.
Journal Entry: September 9th
Last night I was reading the BookEnds website and learned a lot.
1st: There is very little I know about the business of writing and publishing.
2nd: My book is already too long and I’m still writing the climax and ending.
3rd: I am afraid.
Today, I am filled with fear and self doubt. I feel stuck, afraid to move forward with the vast amount of work still ahead of me.
Can I achieve my goal of publishing my first novel?
There are so many unanswered questions…
- Do I have talent?
- Can I do this?
- Will my novel ever get published?
- Am I simply wasting my time?
The final two weeks…
My intention for this blog was to share with you my fellow writers, and non-writers alike, the joys and challenges I have experienced along the way on my journey to publication.
This blog will be retired and replaced by another the very day I sign with an agent and get picked up by a publishing house.
Until that glorious day, I will share what little I know and pick up along the way.
I got to thinking about the posts thus far, and realized that I have done my readers an injustice. I have tried my best to lead with confidence, when in fact, there have been times that I’ve been overcome with self doubt about my writing ability, and uncertain if I had what it would take to bring this project to completion.
So I have decided to share with you my readers, my personal journal entries from the past two weeks.
It is my sincere hope, that they will help you better understand my emotional state of the prior two weeks, as I was worked fast and furious to finish my first novel.
You’ll notice my journal entries include lots of positive affirmations that were crucial for keeping me motivated and moving forward, even when only, one word at a time.
Each journal entry will appear as a separate post over the next few days.
Birth of a Novel
Two weeks ago, I issued a challenge to you and to myself. I asked you to set one or more goals, limit your distractions and report back on your results.
So, what you were able to accomplish?
Whether or not you choose to share your goals or results is your decision; but I hope that over the past two weeks, you realized just how important it is to limit your distractions when pursuing something that matters.
As a reminder, I had given myself the tasks of losing five pounds and finishing my novel.
Well, here I go…
Pounds lost: 3.8, close but no cigar.
Novel: finished, yeah baby, all 128,944 words and 595 pages of it!
It is dark outside, and I sit on my back porch, sipping champagne and reflecting on the prior two weeks, that were really, the final weeks of what has been a seven month labor of love.
Like a new mother, I am spent.
The last seven months have been a roller coaster of emotion and I have ridden the highs of seeing the plot start to come together, the characters develop, the glimpses of talent I feared were nonexistent, and the lows of feeling immobilized by self doubt that threatened to consume me with abject self loathing.
There was also much joy.
Today was one of those days. I started my day with a root canal but did not mind much because I knew that I had the rest of the day finish the last chapter of my novel. I was surprised when I found myself choking back tears as I wrote the final two paragraphs of that which I had created.
And only when my loving husband was by my side, waiting with two glasses of champagne, did I type those two most favorite words of writers.
The End
Avoiding hypocrisy…your personal test of discipline
My previous post talked about the importance of limiting your distractions in an effort to sustain forward momentum towards achieving your goals.
For those of you who know me personally, you know that I have achieved many of my goals and have likewise, failed miserably at so many others.
So, what to do, what to do?
I decided to walk the talk, as they say, and practice a little of what I’ve been preaching to the readers of my blog. But am I capable of following my own advice?
I think so, and intend to prove just that.
My plan: a two week personal test of discipline
You will not see a blog post for the next two weeks, nor will I be posting via Twitter or Facebook. While there is certainly nothing wrong with either of these social media giants, I am finding both irresistible temptations that are threatening to consume my scarce free time. Perhaps when I return after a two week hiatus, I will do a better job at balancing my time on the nice-to-do vs. the need-to-do activities.
Hey, its all about choices people.
What you focus on thrives and flourishes and what you ignore withers and dies. Or in my case, it grows larger and no longer fits into its jeans.
There is a lot that I need to accomplish and the time has come for me to quit making excuses and get down to business.
I decided to focus on two goals:
- lose 5 lbs
- finish my novel
While I certainly need to lose more than 5 pounds, I set a goal that will be fairly hard to achieve in only two short weeks. Five pounds doesn’t sound like much, but hey, 5 lbs here + 5 lbs there = smaller butt.
Finishing my novel in that same time frame is an even bigger feat to accomplish, no pun intended. It will require that I seriously limit my distractions and write during every free moment that I can steal away from less important tasks.
So on September 19th, two short weeks from today, I will post my results/progress towards my two goals.
I challenge you to do the same. Feel free to post your goals in the comment section below.
There is something empowering, motivating even, about writing down your goals and putting them out there for all the world to see.
Not that all the world follows my blog. Hey, a girl can dream can’t she?
Here I go, signing off for two weeks. Tonight, I am planning to write another scene in my novel and I will be passing up that cookie with my nighttime cup of tea.
Wish me luck all…or better yet, tell me to put on my big girl pants, suck it up and finish the damn novel already.
Talent vs. Discipline…Why one is worthless without the other
Well here you go, as promised this Labor Day weekend. I think Labor Day still qualifies as the weekend, while not technically so, but I cannot think of a better weekend to talk about discipline and the work required to accomplish your goals.
A few weeks ago, people around the world were mesmerized, as they sat in front of their television screens, and watched as elite athletes from across the globe competed for the ultimate prize, an Olympic medal. For most of them, those fleeting two weeks was the culmination of many years, decades even for some, of rigorous training at which they spent countless hours honing their sport, removing variables that might shave less than a tenth of a second off their time, thus giving them an ever so slight advantage over their competition, but an advantage none the less.
Like you, I was in awe of their athleticism and finely tuned cardiovascular endurance. There was something special about the way they moved with their lean physiques, all sinewy muscle and bone, unburdened by excess weight or atrophied musculature like so many of us who sat watching while they pursued their life long dream. It was something to behold and watching them got me thinking.
Youth aside, what do these young men and women have that us regular folks clearly lack?
Fast forward to this past weekend. With fall, comes the long awaited College Football season. As each team fearlessly faced their opponent, it became clearly evident that some colleges had been more successful than others in recruiting the more talented athletes. A simple fact of football is that the larger programs, in the better divisions attract the better athletes.
Though one commonality is that each team practiced uncompromisingly, in an effort to perform at their very best. Mistakes were made, as they always are. Film will be reviewed and then plays will be adjusted accordingly in training sessions of the coming weeks.
Fall also marks the upcoming Ford Ironman Triathlon World Championship held in Kona, Hawaii. Elite athletes from around the world will spend the month of September, fine-tuning their swim, bike and run, as many months of arduous training comes to a long anticipated end.
In early October, they will pit themselves against the very best the world has to offer in this grueling multi-sport. They will begin with a 2.5 mile open water swim, follow that with a 114 mile bike ride and end with a jaunty, little 26.2 mile run. Training for such an event requires tenacity of body, mind and spirit.
In order to remain competitive, they must be relentless in their training because someone is certainly coming up behind them, who is not only younger and perhaps more talented, but possibly even more disciplined. Workouts simply cannot be skipped no matter the reason.
While the elite triathlon pros are still in their twenties or early thirties, the age groupers are forty, fifty, sixty and beyond. Words cannot express how inspiring it is to watch these regular people push themselves beyond the perceived limits of human strength and endurance.
So again I ask, what do they have that the rest of us do not?
They have a burning desire & a disciplined mind—that’s what.
So, how does discipline help in goal achievement?
Being disciplined increases the likelihood that you will get up out of that warm, cozy bed and head out for that 5 mile run while so many others sleep in. Discipline compels you to pass up a night out with the girls or that family party, and choosing instead to stay home and finish that school paper or study for that next big exam.
See, for us regular folks, practiced discipline is probably more important than sheer talent.
You need look no further than the local high school or college campus to see evidence that discipline proves to be of more importance than talent and intelligence in terms of academic performance. The vast majority of “A” students are much more disciplined than brilliant. In fact, many possess only average intelligence.
What they do have, however, is a strong work ethic and a disciplined approach to their studies. Years of practiced discipline has taught them the importance of delayed gratification. These disciplined students routinely demonstrate the ability to remain focused on a goal, to do what is necessary by completing all the many, small tasks that will eventually result in their goal achievement.
As for you writers, discipline is everything.
Dean Koontz is a writers’ writer. He is admired by authors big and small. His approach to writing and stalwart work ethic is an example of the discipline required of our craft.
The book, The Complete Idiots Guide to Writing a Novel by Tom Monteleone, which by the way, is an outstanding book for all you aspiring writers out there despite its somewhat silly name, includes an interview with Dean Koontz.
In this interview, Dean Koontz, is quoted as saying, “Many talented people have no discipline whatsoever. You can be brilliant but directionless, in which case the brilliance is of little consequence. To have a worthwhile career, you have to be able to put in long hours at the keyboard.”
Dean Koontz goes on to describe his typical workday. He gets up at five thirty or six o’clock in the morning, walks his dog and is in front of his computer by seven, ready to work. He usually works through lunch, not stopping until dinner. He puts in a minimum 50-hour workweek and when he is nearing the end of a book, he can work as much as 70-80 hours a week.
I long for such a creative life. One that will allow me to make a living from my writing while affording me the freedom to exercise early each morning, then spend my day typing away at the keyboard, inspired by the capricious flurry of the muses.
It is uncertain, whether or not I have real talent. I may lack the level of writing skill required to attract the interest of prospective agents or publishers. These questions will remain unanswered until I finish my novel.
What I do know right now, is that I will never get the chance to realize my dream unless I learn to be more disciplined in all that I do. With practice, comes improvement. I know that I will get better by writing. Not only by writing, but writing on a regular basis, and that my friend, will take discipline.
For to not have talent is one thing. It is easier to accept having not been blessed with certain gifts. I mean, after all, we can’t have everything that we desire.
But to have God given talent, and then lack the necessary desire or discipline, is quite another thing all together. For there lies the risk of regret. Regret for all the things you could have done and should have done . . . if only. We must do whatever we can to avoid the “if only” regret.
When that fateful day comes, and we take our final breath, we want to be able to say, “God, I honored the many talents that you gave me, and used them up fully. I am depleted, I have nothing left to give.”
Your task: Take a moment to really think about what you want to achieve in your life. Set some realistic short term and long term goals that will move you forward to achieving your life dream. In doing so, you will have taken the first step of turning that dream into reality. Next, exercise a little, or a whole lot of discipline, to make conscious decisions on how you choose to spend your time. Do what is necessary to limit your distractions. Respectfully say no to others’ demands on your time or attention. It may mean that you will need to spend less time with social media, perhaps even choosing not to read my blog.
Hey now, let’s not go there. I don’t post all that often.
And on the subject of social media, here is a bit of advice.
Social media serves many purposes. It helps us to engage and connect with others, inside and outside of our former social circles, having eliminated past barriers of time and distance. It fulfills our human need to feel connected with others. It widens our circle of influence. Simply clicking on a link provided by another, can take you to someplace you would have never considered in the past, thus increasing your knowledge base and areas of interest. The benefits derived from networking can have a real and lasting impact in both our personal and professional lives. Social networking is simultaneously marvelous and overwhelming. At times it can be an irresistible distraction that endangers our time and productivity.
Do not let these distractions keep you from living your own life or achieving your life goals. You don’t simply want to be a spectator of life, marveling at the accomplishments of the others. Do something. Take action, instead of being content to just sit back and watch as other people do what you so desire.
For you writers: Be disciplined enough to manage your distractions, boldly safeguard the time you need to write and then work tenaciously to complete your novel.
Later this weekend…
Talent vs. Discipline ….why one is worthless without the other
I thought a lot about this one after watching the Olympics, and again after watching the first college football games of the season.
Which is more important, Talent or Discipline?
Later this weekend, we will explore just that.
Seeking solitude
I have been complaining a lot lately about not being able to put in any solid writing time. I am not referring to finding pockets of time in which to write.
I am referring to the seemingly constant barrage of interruptions while doing so.
For a sometime now, I found it while sitting on my back deck each evening. I would write while our dog ran and played in the yard under the setting sun.
I was able to write quite a lot, despite having to periodically stop to call the dog back when he’d gone too far or had gotten into mischief. Alas, that routine was short lived due to mosquito activity that is far more intense than usual this season.
So, what to do, what to do?
Then I remembered something from way back when I had gone back to school to complete my Bachelors in Nursing. One semester I had enrolled in an intense Chemistry course that was actually three Chemistry classes rolled up into a single class. Further, the semester was condensed down from the typical 12 weeks, to a mere 8 weeks. I had already been a nurse for thirteen years at this time and forgotten more about math than I had probably even learned in the first place. Yeah, I know that is an impossibility, but stay with me here, because that’s not really the point.
The point is that I was freaking out, big time.
If you have never taken Chemistry, let me tell you the one thing you need to know. Chemistry is math based, so you had better have some descent math skills, or you my friend, are screwed.
With three young boys at home, I struggled with finding the time to concentrate on my homework or study for exams. Anyone who is a parent to sons, knows that they are noisy little people and into one thing after another. One day, my husband had the idea to have me study out in our camp trailer, away from the noise and commotion of the kids and away from, even his well meaning, but unwelcome interruptions. He was kind enough to get me set up with air conditioning and a nice, cool beverage and then left me all alone.
Alone
And you know what? It was worked like a charm. For the first time in a long time, I was able to think clearly and concentrate on my studies. In the end, I passed the class and the rest is history.
So today, it hit me. Why not go outside into my camp trailer and get in some uninterrupted writing time?
Well, I did just that. I headed out into my low budget Writers Retreat–to, as they say, get her done.
As I bring this brief blog post to an end, I look around me.
Lap top computer? check
Comfortable seat? check
Air conditioning and cold beverage? check & check
I guess that is pretty much all I need to get started.
During the next few hours, I am hoping to pound out a couple of good chapters, or at least a few good scenes. If I don’t, well then, I will have no one to blame but myself. I need to practice being more disciplined in my commitment to becoming a writer and in so many other key aspects of my life.
And that brings me to the subject of discipline. In my next post, we will explore why discipline can often get you further than talent; but also, why both are required to achieve any significant success. Alone, each will only get you so far. Combined, the possibilities are endless.
Next post: Talent vs. Discipline ….why one is worthless without the other
Rita Aguilar 